Our president made a commencement speech recently highlighting two important topics. The two timely topics are: information and epantsipation. Here is the short video of his wise comments.
His first topic. INFORMATION. You’ve heard it said, ‘Information is power’...you’ve heard it said, ‘Learn ALL you can’…..you’ve heard it said, ‘Freedom of speech is one of the fundamental principles of our democracy’. Our president proclaims…...FUGGGITABOUDIT! Don’t you know information is now a distraction? It’s a nasty form of entertainment. There’s too much!! All information is not true (and we don’t have the time or the sense to sort it out) and we must be careful not to ceaselessly pursue it. I’m an enthusiastic devotee of this new idea. Reading, studying, analyzing…it’s distracting. It’s time-consuming. It’s lotsa trouble. I’m canceling my Twitter feeds….unfollowing everyone except @whitehouse. That way I won’t have to wade through too much useless info and I’ll be assured of absolute accuracy. Thanks, Mr. President….you’ve made my life immensely easier. Heil! Hallelujah!
The next topic: Epantsipation. Some might say the President misspoke, but not me. No way he mangled the English language like our former President! Don’t you know he was the editor of the Harvard Law review and taught at Harvard? No, this new term ‘epantsipation’ is provocatively brilliant. I suspect he read my blog (I’m so honored to be on the cutting edge of blogdom!!)….you know, the post about my ’80’s striped pants? Need reminding?
on a chicken wing and a prayer 
Oh my goodness, just the THOUGHT of dropping all my twitter followees but one…what a mental relief that was. I think you're really onto something with epantsipation, by the way. Bottle that baby and sell it!
Obama is an ass!