Step 1. Admitted I was powerless over my lying to Pioneer Woman. Yes, that Pioneer Woman….the cute lady with Olympic-pool sized dimples. The red-headed photojournalist extraordinaire. The best-sellin’, cookbook writin’, 4 punk huggin’, skinny-jean wearin’, butter and sour cream cookin’ blogosphere goddess. That P-Dub!
I started gettin’ sassy. This sight bitch-slapped me to reality.
Noticed these shoes under my desk after leaving an excoriating comment on PW’s blog. She’s had lots of soul-searching posts lately exploring her fondness for wedges. That’s SHOES people…not the butt-ical playground variety. I know, I was having a hard time, too! Oh wait….that’s wedgies. Senior moment. Sorry.
Most of the comments about the sky-high, girlie wedges were, ‘Oh, how cyyuuuuute! I want those!’ or ‘Ree, you would look so adorable in those cyyuuuuuuuutttee shoes. Buy them!’ Not being one to mindlessly hop aboard the style bandwagon (even PW’s), my comments were something along the lines of, ‘Are you crazy?? Those look mega-painful!’ or channeling my angry, inner feminist I opined, ‘Don’t you realize these ridiculous, bunion-inducing shoes are designed and manufactured my MEN? Men don’t have the health of a woman’s arch foremost on their minds!’ I could only visualize my podiatrist administering injections between my metatarsals with 12-inch needles. Thought of broken ankles, too. So….you be the judge. Would you classify these as wedges? Do they meet the wedgie standard?
Part of my skull-lovin’ phase. Very fun and very flat. These next shoes highlight the uber-practical, style-be-DAMNED side of my personality.
These are made with recycled PVC. They are comfy, comfy, comfortable. And water-repellent. And butt-ugly. Don’t these scream, ‘The person wearing this shoe is soooo cool and confident, she doesn’t give a prairie dog’s paw how ugly they are! Isn’t she fashionable?’ You say just hideous....not fashionable??
I’ll let you know if confession is good for the soul or what I must do to make amends. Promise to go easier on P-dub and not be a haughty, self-righteous shoe judge. Maybe lay off clever commenting for a bit. Spend a little more time with the wiener.