short and simple Monday

The start of another week smack in the heart, the core, the essence of summer.  Beer, mosquitoes, fresh tomatoes, potato salad, the flag, fishing, blueberries, hand cranked ice cream, cherry cobbler and reggae on my mind.
Some things tickling my fancy.

Dove babies in my front yard.
There is a ‘water’ photo contest going on at Pioneer Woman. I don’t have the skillz to really enter…..but should that stop me from trying? No, I say!

I won’t lie…I love this photo. The colors, the whimsy, the fun. Looks like a print ad. Only thing is….what am I advertising? You be the judge.

Thanks to the Sprouts and the In-Laws for letting us come to the lake yesterday. Good times. Too many skiing, tubing, wipe out photos to bore you.
Promised the Sprout NO bikini photos on the blog. Hope she can swallow this one.  Struck me as a great metaphor for living life this week.  Thumbs up, square on, safety goggles (just in case!), and armed with a big smile.
Thumbs up love to all this week.

american pawtriot

The problems started after this post.
First it was innocent questions like ‘how do you spell unalienable‘?  Or ‘can we watch the HBO series John Adams?‘  It progressed to her hounding me to drive to the library to check out The Federalist Papers……then it snowballed to last Monday.  That’s when she balked at her Whole Earth Organic Soy dog food.

Why aren’t you eating your dog food?

*Pointy nose in air*  I no longer care to observe Meatless Mondays.

But Roxy-Doxy, we agreed….we’re doing our part to prevent global warming and cut down on CO2 emissions in the form of bovine flatulence.
Global warming is a hoax.  Have you checked out the pictures of Al Gore’s new ocean-side mansion?

Doesn’t appear Al’s too worried about the rising ocean levels or how he’s going to earn his next massive speaking fee hyping the hoax!

Her sassy, self-confident tone stung my ears.  This wasn’t the Birkenstock-wearing, NYU-graduating canine I’d grown to love (she is acquaintances with the Olsen twins!).  I contemplated the sudden change in Doxy’s political views (while standing in front of the book shelf nonchalantly blocking her view of my copy of An Inconvenient Truth).  Where was the blissfully uninformed, so easy, so compliant….so…..moderate wiener dog? Studying her wiener behavior the past few weeks, a disturbing pattern began to emerge.
Like the hot day we came inside after an energetic game of tennis ball and

I found her at my desk reading The Drudge Report. 

Whateryou doing, Doxy??!
Can’t trust the lamestream media to tell the truth….gotta dig it out for yourself.
I’ve heard it’s right-wing and full of nothing but propaganda!
C’mon…wise up and smell the dogcrap…THAT’s what we’re being
sold on TV.

Another day, I was greeted with this shocking sight.


Nooooooooooo, haven’t you heard she’s a moron?  Can barely put a sentence together.  How could she possibly write a book?
Gotta respect a lady who can field-dress a moose.  Makes moose chili. Drives ice machines.  Don’t you think Todd’s a hottie??  I don’t care what she can see from her house-she’s a winner.  Wouldja get me a SARAH! bumper sticker for my dog bed??
She pronounces the title Growling Rogue.  Dimwit.

Speaking of field dressing a moose, I found Doxy nosing around this a day or two ago.

What do you think you’re doing, little lady?! 
Brushing up on calibers of ammunition for my NRA small-bore rifle competition.  I’m taking the test next week-hafta love the 2nd amendment!

Roxy, why the change in political views?  Ex-as-per-a-tion  I thought you were a registered blue-dog Democrat?  What’s up with the constitutional questions, monitoring Drudge, Sarah Palin, and NOW small-bore rifle ammo??!  Is it because the NAACP and the Democrats played the race card on the Tea-Party last week?  Is that the reason for switching to the ‘dark side’?  It disgusted you they played the race card?  Now, you’re becoming one of THEM?!
Cocking her head after listening intently to my questioning tirade, she wheeled around on her stubby doxy feet and hightailed it (ears flopping) to the game closet.  She rifled through the shelves, scurried to her piggy bank, raided the liquor cabinet, grabbed a cigarette and ran to the breakfast room table. OBSERVE the doxy mind at work:
So much for the race card.  I never claimed she was the sharpest rawhide in the doghouse.

Pawtriot love to all this week!

8th wonder of the world

Short and sweet Monday.

I have discovered the 8th wonder of the world!   The cure for crotch-picking and wedgie-wrangling. The cure for VPL that doesn’t try to stuff a size 12 into a size 4.
Are you ready?

I’m wearing these right now and I am comf-ter-bull. Not pickin’ my seat.
TMI, TMI?……sorry.

Are you a man reading this? Look away, now.

Here’s what is delighting my derriere.

These are called vanishing edge panties from Soma Intimates. They come in all styles and they have some ‘sticky’ strips along the border to keep things where they belong.
You’re welcome.

Disclaimer: Soma does not know I exist, nor that I am blissfully happy wearing their intimates. I would not be above taking cold cash from Soma for this endorsement, but so far they haven’t offered.

mid-week fun quiz

Time for a mid-week quiz!!
C’mon, take it….it will be fun and only take a minute.

1.  Did you ever let your young ‘uns jump on a trampoline (the old-school kind with NO safety nets) while throwing a basketball at them and calling it ‘dodgeball’?
____Of course.  It’s all in good fun.  No different than letting the babies roll around in the back of the Suburban like bowling balls.
____No way!  I think 1980’s parenting styles sucked.

2.  Are you a cat or a dog person?

3.  Have you ever eaten fried green tomatoes?
____No, I’m generally against the use of searing, hot grease to kill innocent tomatoes.
____Yes, but I’ve never read Fannie Flag’s book.

4.  Have you ever left for vacation and carefully and diligently secured your doggie door….then a couple of days later had your ‘housewatcher’ come over to bring in the mail….only to discover you’ve locked the feral cat INSIDE your house?
____No, do I look like a total idiot?
____That story is so terrifying, I just popped a Valium.
____I can quote you the cost of carpet cleaning and flea infestation spraying.

5.  Are you a ‘mountain’ or an ‘ocean’ person?
____I suffer from severe altitude sickness.
____I went swimming with JoJo, the dolphin.
____Any place serving alcohol, I’m there!

6.  Have you ever trapped a cat in a ‘live’ trap?
____Three-day old tuna salad is the best bait!
____Sicko!  How could you trap Garfield?

7.  Do you sometimes pass gas with no warning?  I mean, with no warning that it was coming?  Out, that is.   And you surprise yourself?  NO warning at all?
____I clip and hoard ‘Beano’ coupons.

____The government has slapped me with a CO2 tax.
____So, that WAS you?

8.  Are you a PETA member, but sometimes harbor evil, twisted thoughts about extinguishing cats?
____They say one can always spot a serial killer psycopath by the way one treats animals.
____No.  And no, you cannot look in my Maytag.

9.  Do you still suffer from acne?
____My spouse is suspicious of me and the UPS delivery person.  Proactive comes every 2 weeks.
____Hope there’s benzoyl peroxide in the rest home!
____I can’t see my face well enough to discern if I have acne.  Do I??

10.  Have you ever grown a yellow squash as big as your wiener?

____No…but I’ve grown one as large as my Shih-Tsu. 
____Squash tastes better grown no longer than 6 inches.
____Why are we discussing this?

How did you do?  Feel free to leave a comment or discuss amongst yourselves.  Well…..except #7.  That can be for your own edification.
Keep having a great week!  Quizzy love to all.

mountain jewels

Happy Monday!  Returned from a cool mountain vacation with family and friends.  Thought I’d let you in on my latest obsession…..trying to get the perfect hummingbird photo.
The Nikon d3000 is amazing, but these flighty buggers are tricky to capture.
You have to have a fast shutter speed to catch the action, BUT when the shutter speed is fast it lets in less light and the photo is too dark.
Then there’s the exposure compensation ‘+’ and ‘-‘ to help brighten things up a bit.
I used every shutter speed known to man.  Experimented with my 3 beginner lenses.  Lots of my pictures were just blurry backgrounds with no sparkly hummingbird in sight.
I patiently waited with my lens trained at the hummingbird feeder.  Minutes turned to hours and the family wondered ‘Mom, what’s for dinner?’.  Feet and back started to burn and ache.  They recognized the crazed, far-away look in my eyes.  Want…..the……perfect……hummingbird………….photo……….
Sorry, middle Sprout, for making you look at hummingbird shots til the cows come home.  Bless your eternal patience.
It’s beauty.  It’s nature.  It’s all for fun.  But….I’m still an obsessed nut…..hopefully believing I can learn a new trick.
You better believe I’ll keep trying.  Hope your week is a brilliant jewel.