liquid diet weekend

If you recognize the following product,

You are:
1) over 50
2) a gastroenterologist
3) suffer from irritable bowel syndrome
4) a sado-masochist

Well….hel-lo moviprep sexy voice (sounds like what one does before attending the local theatre)….you and I will be on an intimate ‘first-name’ basis this Sunday evening.  Probably whisper sweet nothings deep into the night.  Possibly our relationship will blossom into the wee hours of the a.m.  Don’t you be thinkin’ bout sleepin’……

A friend told me to put a small t.v, a towel, some lanolin wipes, a blanket, and a pillow in my pottical area.  Plan on spending a A LOT of time there.  A scented candle sounds like a good idea….no?  Vodka, too?

I thought I might write about the experience, but I could never top Dave Barry’s description of this procedure.  If I think of anything original, readers of On a Chicken Wing… will be the first to know.  Lucky you!

Worried?  Not too much.  I’m going to have the upper area scoped, as well.  Just want to be sure they disinfect that scope before sliding it down my gullet.  I KNOW where it’s been.  I’m a clean freak like that.  I’ll be sure and mention it to Dr. L.  Bet he’s heard that line before?

Wish me luck.  I’m sure to be at least 5 pounds lighter….yay!

Roxy-Doxy update:  The wiener is recovering from her hernia repair/teeth cleaning.  The vet wants me to brush her teeth.  How does one brush a wiener dog’s teeth, exactly?  OK, OK I’ll try…. as long as I don’t have to floss for her.
She’s been in some pain and I’ve given her the prescribed pain meds.  Made her loopy as hell.  She wants to watch Greta Van Susteren constantly and she pulls up the Greta blog on the computer.  She was in a chat room discussing the Florida preacher burning the Koran.  After chatting for at least 2 hours she turned to me and asked, ‘Who is Core-ann?’  See….see what life is like with this petulant, opinionated sausage-dog?
Here she was taking her Red Cross Lifeguard Test on our recent trip to the mountains.

She wants to work at the Country Club pool next summer.

Have a fantastic weekend.  Eat up!  Indulge in lots of tasty solid food in my honor.  Go ahead…you have my permission.  Love to all.

4 thoughts on “liquid diet weekend

  1. Ahhhh, the good ol' colonoscopy prep! It's really not that horrible, but don't plan anything, I mean anything at all, for that day. You will want to be within about 10 feet of the toilet at ALL times! Good luck!

  2. Eeeeeeeeeeeek, that sounds pretty drastic! Good luck hon, I'm sending every good vibe your way. I love your humour, it's obviously rubbed off on that darling pooch of yours (grin). You think brushing teeth is hard? Try getting a urine sample! Poor hubby had to stalk our concerned hound around the garden, brandishing a frying pan behind his back – teehee!

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