marrying Trader Joe’s

I adore Trader Joe’s.  I want to marry him.  Seriously (sorry, Texan), I have a ‘thing’ for the odd guy in the loud Hawaii shirt.  Regretfully, ours is a long-distance love affair.  One of those ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ relationships

Trader Joe’s does not live in my town (sniffle).  I must drive four excruciatingly long hours (Albuquerque) to steal a visit and spend quality time with him.

What do I love about Trader’s?  Let me count the ways, honey……..

Value.  Trader’s does not charge those crazy ‘health food’ store prices.  The items are priced competitively with other supermarkets, except for one big difference.  The products are WAY better.  Delicious.  Fresh tasting.  Not a lot of added gunk…just good stuff.

Wine.  They carry wine from all over the globe.  Again…tasty and cheap.  I’m proudly low-class and I enthusiastically imbibe ‘two-buck Chuck’.  Charles Shaw.

Nuts.  Spiced pecans addictive as meth….really!  Honey-coated peanuts.  They’re never far from my side-I keep a bag in my car at all times.  Must keep my fat and blood sugar levels climbing!  These two are my faves, but for you chocolate-lovers, there’s every variety of nut coated in any kind of chocolate you desire.

Soups.  You’re thinking hyperbole, but the Creamy Corn and Roasted Pepper Soup is to..die…for.  I fainted just thinking about it.  Luckily, the Tomato and Roasted Red Pepper Soup acts as smelling salts and promptly revives me.  I even turn cartwheels.

Sauces/Dressings.  The Salsa Verde is a regular on eggs, enchiladas, meats, ANYTHING at my house.  Got carried away and laid some on the wiener dog the other day…horrors!
doxy profile
All of the marinaras and other tomato sauces are top-notch.  They simply taste fresher….like homemade….than anything else I have ever laid a taste bud upon.  My favorite dressing is the Sesame Soy Ginger Vinaigrette.  Perfect for the popular Asian-themed salads.

Baked Goods and Cereals.  Not low-cal, but incredibly delicious.

Sweet Potato Fries.  Need I say more?

Since I’m shopping from out-of-town, I don’t usually buy things in the perishable section of the store.  I don’t know much about the meats, cheeses and such-but I’d love to try them.  I was in Santa Fe a couple of weeks ago.  Trader and I enjoyed a quickie.  I swept up and down the aisles grabbing handfuls of aforementioned foodiful dee-lights.  It was so satisfying, I slowly savored a cigarette in my vehicle afterwards.  I lovingly made a Trader Joe’s cache of delights in my pantry.  Looks like I’m planning for a long, snowy, hard winter.  Be prepared…my motto.  Shhh…..I’m showing you (cuz you’re special) my stash, but don’t be knocking on my door this winter looking for corn soup.  I’ll feign ignorance.  Behold!!

Trader’s are you listening?  A hungry woman in West Texas is yearning for more of you.  Missing you.  Savoring every last condiment and nut from you.  Make an honest woman of me.  Please….can we set a date??

Savor every last morsel of your weekend.

4 thoughts on “marrying Trader Joe’s

  1. I need to ship you some stuff from our local TJ's. Four hours is ridic. Thai Yellow Curry Sauce, dark-chocolate-covered pretzels, Midnight Moo chocolate syrup…oh, man. Trader Joe _should_ be real. If we married him, just think of the DISCOUNT.

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