Truth telling leaves me conflicted. Things, circumstances and events look prettier when sugar-coated. The problem is, leaving Realville is detrimental to my mental health. The stinky elephant lived too long in my living room, not discussed.
My recent talk at the Samaritan Counseling Center is illustrative of my inner conflict. I attempted to speak honestly of what it was like to grow up in a household with alcoholic parents. How I learned to cope with my own demons through the years to become (somewhat) of a stable personality. How I labored over and analyzed every single syllable of that speech!
What had me at an impasse? What had my innards in an uproar?. My dad (who has been gone since 1978) and my Mom (died 2011) cheered me on. ‘Tell the truth’, they implored. ‘Let people know there IS a way out of addiction’.
After some pondering, I think I know why giving my talk didn’t feel better. Why I didn’t leave the building skipping and saying, ‘Whew!! Glad I got that off my chest!’
Here’s the dilemma: I want people to know my folks were alcoholics, but they were good people. Smart people. Funny people. I count my redeeming qualities as a tribute to them. They were real people with real flaws. We were all doing the best we could at the time. Sometimes, the disease of addiction got the better of us. My father died of the disease, but my mother LIVED. She found sobriety and helped introduce me to a more serene existence.
Mostly I miss them, but today I’m grateful they aren’t around to give a talk dealing with my flaws as a child/young adult. That would be the shortest speech, EV-ER.
The day after the Samaritan Event, the Texan and I hightailed it to Dallas to bother the #3 Sprout and the D-I-L. Played some golf, walked through the park during a Bluegrass Festival, and ate lots of meats at Fogo de Chao. How I love these two young people! I’m blessed to have them in my life. The visit was just what the doctor ordered.
Leaving you with this.
All credit goes to the Texan. I wasn’t even lugging my camera about that day. Didn’t he snap a winner?
Truth for today? I love you for reading this. And I’m strangely craving a corn dog.
Mrs. Realville love to all.