pick your fave

Guess who’s learning how to use polls in a blog post?

To keep your mind off Miley Cyrus and the disgusting twerking phenomenon, I offer you something light.

I’m your Redi-Whip in a can. You can consume this post with a spoon, or squirt it directly into your mouth. Sweet and refreshing.

Again, we are talking about fashion. Do I hear moaning?? Leave now, if you can’t stomach another fashion post. But I could use your help.

I found this Cache dress when taking my fearless clothing inventory. As per usual, the dress was sadly living in the black, moldy recesses of my closet. I’m sure it was purchased on sale and I never found the right accessories to pair with it. Because of my inventory, I rescued it yesterday and wore it to two highly important functions.

My wheels keep spinning. Picmonkey collage is a dangerous thing.
My wheels keep spinning. Picmonkey collage is a dangerous thing.

Now my brain is wondering……..‘Is there a way to take this basic black-and-white striped number and deck it out for Fall?’ Do you ever ask yourself questions like that?

I didn’t think so.

Will you take my poll. Please?! I have my top two faves, but I’d really like to know what the Poultry Nation thinks of these stylings.

Hello ***blowing microphone*** Anybody out there? Do it.

Choose your favorite summer into fall styling of this dress.

1.  The cropped red Jacket.

Classic. Colorful. Christmas?
Classic. Colorful. Christmas?

2.  Black cashmere sweater.

Pair with black horn-rimmed glasses. Meet me at the library for a good time.
Pair with black horn-rimmed glasses. Meet me at the library for a good time.

3.  The jean jacket.

My fragrance? Eau de Steve McQueen.
My fragrance? Eau de Steve McQueen.

4.  Orange belted blazer.

No, I didn't attend UT. Boo-mer Soo-ner.
No, I didn’t attend UT. Boo-mer Soo-ner.

5.  Black military blazer.

The few. The proud. The fashionistas.
The few. The proud. The fashionistas.

I’ll let you know the results and which were my top picks by the end of the week. Thanks for voting and eating whipped cream with me.

You may continue.

Don’t think about twerking. It’s not ladylike.

Black and white love to all.

inappropriate test

Recently experienced the sickening moment when getting dressed for church; pulling on leggings to go under the killer-perfect jacket. Felt the sharp deflation as I spied those horrible words inside the waistband…‘Miley Cyrus’
My God…..are these ‘jeggings’?!
Time for a serious and fearless moral inventory.
Remember the last BLOG POST of my struggles with appropriate sartorial choices? Seems I haven’t learned my lesson.
Be kind, dear reader, as I demonstrate my past sins.
1976. Remember halter tops? This was a reversible number I purchased at TG &Y for about two bucks. When I tired of the blue side, I could reverse it to the red bandana-cloth side. Do I seem embarrassed that everyone behind me is dressed sort of normally and I stand out as a skank? naaaawwwww. This top was a fave of the Texan.
One word about articles of clothing monogrammed with your entire name. Don’t.
Rocking the vertical stripes to  hide  Sprout #3.  I sorta look like a referee. Wait…..that IS a referee shirt!
Roller blades are not the best option for footwear when wearing a kelly-green dress.
Loving the Easter photo of the fam. Even loving the purple sheath with neutral flats. Not loving the pregnant-looking tummy. Must’ve been in days before Spanx. Painful.
Rodney and the Texan-looking sharp! Me….I think I fell off the pumpkin truck. This shirt is exactly what a migraine-aura looks like. A classic example of horizontal stripes being a fashion ‘no’.
****breathing again**** I warned you my inventory would be fearless.

You know Jeff Foxworthy and his bit ‘You might be a redneck IF….?’ I’ve developed a clothing self-test just for you. It just might save you from the ‘Don’t section of Glamour magazine.
                            You might be dressing age-inappropriately  IF……..
1.  You own a pair of thigh-high leather boots.
2.  You apply leg-makeup to cover the varicose veins when wearing shorts.
3.  You don three layers of neck-to-knee spanx to snug into your favorite dress.
4.  You own a pair of coral-colored denim capri pants.
5.  You own anything Jimmy Choo.
6.  You think the latest OPI neon-green nail polish is ‘cool’.
7.  You wear leggings as pants. (you know who you are!)
8.  You wear any type of two-piece bathing suit.
9.  You own a pair of animal-print hose.
10.You have clothing with the labels Miley Cyrus, BCBG, Bisou-Bisou, Stella McCartney or Hello, Kitty.
11.You see a photo of yourself from behind. Your only thought is you wish you’d been wearing your ‘back-smoothing’ bra.
Only trying to save you from yourselves. Don’t be like me. Do you have some other tips to add to my list? Tell me, I’m listening.
White-lipstick love to all.