run for your life

Played golf in the Land of Enchantment last weekend.  The scenery, food, company and golf courses were first rate.  Some of the signs around the course amused me.

Does the Texan look like he is staying aware or does he look scared s**tless?  He ain’t afraid of no venomous snakes!

Moi….staying aware.  They really don’t want you to waste time looking for lost balls.   Snakes here, don’t bother searching for errant balls….move along.  Be aware-not afraid or running around like a chicken with his head chopped off!   Calm awareness is key.
Here are some other potential dangers to bring to your awareness.  Try NOT to be frightened.

robgolf

Sorry, Texan.

possum

Caught this criminal one evening while I was trying to trap ANOTHER feral cat who shows interest coming in my doggie door. I released him for good behavior…he inhabits the hill behind my house.

Fair! 114a

This awareness poster somehow reminds me of the next awareness poster.

001a
Fair! 007a

No blog post is complete without

card shark1

The card shark wiener dog!  I KNEW you’d complain if I didn’t include her in your awareness.

self portraits 062

Be VERY afraid.  Run for your life…….

mashed-frog

Remember…..practice calm, safe awareness the remainder of this week. Hopefully, you won’t meet a rattlesnake or a runaway golf cart.  Stay safe, people.

liquid diet weekend

If you recognize the following product,

You are:
1) over 50
2) a gastroenterologist
3) suffer from irritable bowel syndrome
4) a sado-masochist

Well….hel-lo moviprep sexy voice (sounds like what one does before attending the local theatre)….you and I will be on an intimate ‘first-name’ basis this Sunday evening.  Probably whisper sweet nothings deep into the night.  Possibly our relationship will blossom into the wee hours of the a.m.  Don’t you be thinkin’ bout sleepin’……

A friend told me to put a small t.v, a towel, some lanolin wipes, a blanket, and a pillow in my pottical area.  Plan on spending a A LOT of time there.  A scented candle sounds like a good idea….no?  Vodka, too?

I thought I might write about the experience, but I could never top Dave Barry’s description of this procedure.  If I think of anything original, readers of On a Chicken Wing… will be the first to know.  Lucky you!

Worried?  Not too much.  I’m going to have the upper area scoped, as well.  Just want to be sure they disinfect that scope before sliding it down my gullet.  I KNOW where it’s been.  I’m a clean freak like that.  I’ll be sure and mention it to Dr. L.  Bet he’s heard that line before?

Wish me luck.  I’m sure to be at least 5 pounds lighter….yay!

Roxy-Doxy update:  The wiener is recovering from her hernia repair/teeth cleaning.  The vet wants me to brush her teeth.  How does one brush a wiener dog’s teeth, exactly?  OK, OK I’ll try…. as long as I don’t have to floss for her.
She’s been in some pain and I’ve given her the prescribed pain meds.  Made her loopy as hell.  She wants to watch Greta Van Susteren constantly and she pulls up the Greta blog on the computer.  She was in a chat room discussing the Florida preacher burning the Koran.  After chatting for at least 2 hours she turned to me and asked, ‘Who is Core-ann?’  See….see what life is like with this petulant, opinionated sausage-dog?
Here she was taking her Red Cross Lifeguard Test on our recent trip to the mountains.

She wants to work at the Country Club pool next summer.

Have a fantastic weekend.  Eat up!  Indulge in lots of tasty solid food in my honor.  Go ahead…you have my permission.  Love to all.