the war on…..

What do you think about the war on……
1.  Fat?  Haven’t you read about the restriction of the use of trans-fats in NYC restaurants?  Wave good-bye to fried chicken and doughnuts.  Is salt still allowed, or is that outlawed too?  Vanilla and nutmeg….you’re on notice!!
2.  Light?  Those damnable compact flourescent light bulbs drive me batty.  Heard about the law to prohibit all incandescent bulbs.  (oh, George W..what did you do??)  The (enviro-friendly and cheap thrifty) Texan has installed the outrageously efficient, money-saving cf bulbs all over our home.  I grew weary of switching on the lights in my pantry and waiting 5 minutes to see the canned corn.  Same for my closet…lots of days I was wearing navy and black cuz I couldn’t see my clothes.  I gave up and changed back to the incandescent bulbs.  Light on, light off…easy enough.  Hoping the Texan wouldn’t notice my anti-enviro radicalism.  No such luck.  He just noticed the quick, bright light on the pizza box resting our kitchen island.  Busted!  Light bulb hoarding, here I come!

3.  Christmas?  This time of year we hear about the war on Christmas.  I don’t care if you wish me ‘Happy Holidays’ or you say a hearty ‘Merry Christmas!’  Whatevs.  I DO resent having to remove every Christian Christmas symbol from city, state and federal property in this great land.  The first amendment to the U.S. Constitution talks about not establishing a state religion.  I don’t think not establishing a state religion means we have to remove every last remnant of our Judeo/Christian culture at Christmas time.  I believe the U.S. is a Judeo/Christian country and our body of laws flows out of that particular cultural and religious mindset.  Last time I checked, the Senate of the United States has a Chaplain who prays every day before the esteemed body conducts business.  If the Senate can have a chaplain, can we keep the creche at city hall?

4.  Dogs??  China now has a new law.  Only one dog per family, please!  Makes me glad I live in the wilds of West Texas.  Don’t want anybody limiting my number of kids, dogs and horses and other things.

5.  Wiener Dogs?  I was astounded when I read this article about dachsunds being one of the most aggressive breeds of dogs.  Is nothing sacred?  Stubby-legged sausage dogs are the new pit-bull?  Protect your toes and ankles!  Run for them thar hills, people!!

6.  Fun?  I have laughed myself silly over San Francisco’s ban on Happy Meals.  This is excrutiatingly dumb and an outlandish intrusion into the lives of American families and American Happy Meal Lovers.  Most fast food restaurants are now offering healthier choices, such as fresh fruit and salads.  People seem to like these offerings and they are popular menu items.  When a city government instructs a restaurant chain in what they can and cannot put in a meal….a Happy meal…we’ve lost our marbles.  Can’t folks decide for themselves if they want to eat HAPPY?  Can’t parents decide if their kids can eat HAPPY?  In San Francisco, the sad answer is ‘no’.  Legalize pot, but good gracious…..don’t put fries and a toy in the Happy Meal!!  Can’t believe I just said that.  I’m ranting now.
What should we do about all this nonsense??
We should meet in the no salt, no transfat capital of NYC.  We can join hands and  gaily skip our way to see Pee Wee’s Playhouse on Broadway.  Now, there’s some fun….watching Pee Wee back in the Playhouse zanily interacting with Chairy, Miss Yvonne, Cowboy Curtis and Pterri.  We could even go out for a happy meal and a milkshake after the show. Pee Wee’s Playhouse runs through Jan 2nd.  Doesn’t look like NYC is in the cards for me this year.  Break a leg, Pee Wee.  I still love you!
Oh…and remember…the secret word for today is….tyranny!
Here’s wishing you fatty, bright, holiday, canine, fun love this week.